to my favorite french horn player on my iPhone. just got done dancing for about an hour today. feeling a little bereft, so the dancing helped. i wish more people would come to my concerts, even if they don’t particularly prefer that “kind” of music. seriously, it would be nice if they’d come because it would make me happy. it would be nice if they would come to support the chorus i sing with, even if they don’t like the music. and it might surprise them that they COULD like the music. if you’ve never heard it before, how can you know if you like it or not?

i guess i’m tired of working so hard and being so excited, and no one i am close to seems to want to share that with me. my mother does, and if i pushed it with my father, he’d come too, i suppose…

but no one else. i don’t think people realize just how important it is to me.

i should have been/could have been, a professional musician, and this is the closest i will get to it. music is my life, still, and it saves me, always.

i guess that will have to be enough. and if it wasn’t for music, i’d be so alone, that i don’t know if it would be bearable.