that friend of mine, who’s married and whose wife is away, is really starting to get 0n my nerves. he really needs to stop asking me to do stuff every single day. i mean, come ON. and then when she gets back, is he going to do something with me then? the answer is no (not that i really care, it’s the principal of it).

he emails me, texts me, calls me. STOP IT.

i started thinking, is this how online crush felt about me? probably.

but online crush also wanted to see me naked. he certainly encouraged my pathetic-ness, at least for a time.

i’ve never said that i wanted ANYthing from this guy. it’s really starting to creep me out.

i did go to his house for a party he had last night, only because i thought i might actually meet someone there. when we were out two weeks ago, i met a friend of his who made immediate and constant eye contact with me. he was SUPER handsome. and a musician. i was hoping he’d be there.

of course he wasn’t.

but anyway. these other people knew all this stuff about me and it felt creepy.

you’re married. i can’t help it if you’re not happy. you’re still MARRIED.

besides, i don’t feel that way about him, even if he wasn’t.

ugh.

why can’t a man i WANT to act this way, ACT THIS WAY???

it fucking sucks.