getting ready for class. tonight’s topic? not–t–king. how exciting. seriously, if i ever saw any of them pull out paper and a pen without me telling them to do so, i think i’d pass out from shock. so tonight we are going to do it together, step-by-step. i’ve starting saying that they need an introductory course before they can take an introductory semester. like, how to organize yourself. how to get to class on time. how to behave when you are in class. how to write due dates on a calendar. i’m not kidding. and that’s pretty sad. THESE ARE SUPPOSEDLY ADULTS I’M TEACHING. (thank the lord for this site. wait, i don’t believe in that anymore. the lord i mean.)

i just got an email from some guy on that dating site and after looking at his profile, i realized he’s a former tenant of one of my best friends. i called her to confirm and she did say it was him. he treated her terribly when he lived there and was a complete chauvanistic pig too. so i obviously won’t write back. he’s a lawyer and plays in a band and he’s handsome too. dark hair as i like. too bad he’s a jackass.

i don’t know if i mentioned this, but i submitted a poem to a contest here locally, and sat i am to go read it. they will announce the winners there. i didn’t really want to go, because i feel it’s not the way to announce the winner, as if it’s the academy awards or something. well, it will be good practice for when i do actually attend the academy awards (up for best original screenplay, lol). thepoet kept on bugging me to go. i finally said yes. so i guess i will…

back to prepping for my class. ugh.

she’s one of my best friends, actually. always always always there for me. even when she’s not been feeling well, and i mean REALLY not feeling well for so long. i saw her today (you know who you are and it was so nice. i miss working with you D.

D always gets me. even when she probably doesn’t want to

today as we were chatting, of course the subject of stupid men came up. i said “well, i guess you’ve read the blog.”

she looked at me and said that she had and this: “i just don’t know what to say” along those lines.

i just looked back at her and said “i don’t know what to say either.”

frankly, anyone who knows what happened can’t really believe it.

i’m still a bit in shock. i was super angry at first, because i felt as a FRIEND, i was betrayed. i mean, the promise made to me was as a FRIEND.

that more than anything hurts me. and i just can’t believe he did this. basically disappeared, and for two months i’ve been waiting around for him to return and resume our friendship and then, just as i was thinking “well, maybe he’s not going to” i discover the truth.

he came here and clearly that has been in the works for awhile.

now i understand why he stopped talking to me when he did.

he couldn’t possibly be promising me things, like he would see me when he’d come over, and then in fact, admit he was coming and breaking his promise to me.

among the other things he said at christmas time.

and the jewelry he sent me.

uhm. it’s hanging over my dresser mirror.

i thought of sending it back, but i can’t even be bothered to put that much energy into anything related to him at this point.

i feel he lied to me about everything.

love me? is this the way love behaves?

christian? that’s the biggest farce of all.

dodged another one? priceless.