i’ll write more about it later. it’s about my friend who i ran into again after 15 years, this past july–the one who took my phone number and called me a few hours later, the one who another friend said was a ‘player.’

it’s not good news. i’m in shock, really, and i don’t know what to make of it all…

off to work…

and i wrote to online crush asking about an upcoming thing he was supposed to be doing, to see if we could see one another, because this event just hits home how fragile life is and how we should just do things and not fucking worry about it…not that i am the one worrying…and he wrote back saying he cancelled that trip.

he said nothing about my friend.

sometimes i think he has no feelings.

if someone wrote the same kind of message to me, i can’t imagine not saying something…i burst out crying when i read his reply.

because i’m already upset, and he isn’t even concerned or offering any sort of emotional support whatsoever. i don’t need it from him, but frankly, was quite shocked that he said nothing about it.

ok. now i’m really gone to work.

and i know my friend D is dealing with a lot of things now too…thinking of you D, if you’re reading this…love you…