…my old bf lorenzo for a long time. he told me he went to school with HE (the guy i knew from years ago who i met again last night–see below)

he said he’s without a doubt, a PLAYER.

okay well then i’m glad he hasn’t called me. he wasn’t getting any from me anyway. i’m sure he knows it. so if he doesn’t call, then L is right–playah.

whatever. i know what i want and i’m sticking to it.

i went to the bookstore earlier tonight and mathematician was sitting out front of his house moping and looking all miserable. i can’t even look at him. i have to look away. he makes me physically sick.

..of him. no phone call. hmmmphf.

see post below. i’m not sure he warrants a moniker yet, so i’ll just call him HE. he already has a nickname for me, apparently. what is it? HEELS. lol. i guess because i happened to be wearing my new red high heels and he noticed them. well. another man who likes shoes. i find it amusing, though it’s not really very sweet. oh well. it’s better than baby or honey or some such crap.

i txt him after he txt me (how in the world do you spell that anyway?). then he called. we chatted for a bit, and he asked what i told my friend about him when we left, etc. he said he was so surprised that i remembered him and he was very flattered (the danger in approaching men first is that you don’t always know if they reciprocate because they are flattered or because they are truly interested).

the conversation progressed into lots of flirtation. lots of it. in fact, we ended up somehow talking about sex. which i didn’t particularly like. i heard him say something about “we’re both adults” etc. yeah. just like online crush and i were adults. or carlos and i. or zafar and i. or…well. you can see where this is heading.

he brought it up and wanted to talk about it so i was honest.

we’ll see if i hear from him again.

what did i say?

that i want and need an emotionally consistent and stable “relationship” (though i said i was reluctant to use that word so early talking to him, but since he was asking me to be honest, i felt i had to say it) in order to have sex.

but i said of course i LOVE sex, just not casual sex. not anymore, anyway.

i’ve learned what i need in order not to get hurt (or to lessen the chances of it anyway) and i have to stick to it.

i’ll be bummed if i don’t hear from him again. but it’s always better to be upfront about these things.

see, and another danger in approaching a man is that they think you’re hitting on them for booty call. honestly, i told him, i spoke to him because i’d seen him from time to time and just wanted to get to know him better.

he said he’d talk to me over the weekend. well. who knows.