tonight’s rehearsal, this upcoming performance is why i do what i do. why i suffer through concerts and music i dislike (this music is not something i dislike, this is spectacular). why i drag myself, tired and exhausted, to work after concert weeks.

this surpasses even the recordings of the randol bass music back in january that we did.

i have no words to describe the feelings. i’m trying. but they fail me. they don’t do it justice. it’s something you have to experience and i don’t know that i can write about it.

not yet anyway.

it’s transcendent. it’s something so beautiful, it hurts.