Archive for May 1, 2008
buckingham palace
i took this shot in london many years ago. i just felt like posting it again. in honor of course, of my musical life this week 
the life i share with so many others. there’s nothing quite like it. i feel blessed
rehearsals at the hall
the poem below and this photo (taken during our recordings sessions in Jan.) are in honor of my rehearsals and concerts this week, since i don’t have time to properly blog. these two things will have to sustain you in my absence
talk amongst yourselves.
no wonder
I read about yet another disappointment-
yours-
encouraged to love poetry and art and music
singing as a little boy.
I see your image clearly: happy, innocent
told to go away, that you are making the whole chorus
sound off.
Want to reach out, comfort that small boy, age 8
but cannot.
Cannot take away the disappointment
of wanting to write poetry (though you gave up)
of memorizing song after song only to be told
you can’t sing
of those lovely photos shot with the famous poet
you adored, taken away and destroyed.
I want to wrap arms around the little boy
or nullify the failures of marriages unfulfilled
erase the memory of war and carnage
or make you see your body the way I see it-
perfect.
No wonder though, you won’t let me
can’t
won’t let me love you
(though you cannot stop me).
My anger (pain) at your refusal subsides
and guilt for being just another
to hurt you, sets in.
I am sorry that you could not be
a poet a singer an artist.
But you are beautiful in your stubborn
outspoken resistance.
And I can write you a poem
and sing you a song.
Too late, I suppose
for all the hurts we endure.
Still I sing to you
when you are not listening
and I write poems
in rehearsals
you will never
be privy to.
—————-
A poem I wrote awhile ago.
we met sidlin tonight
the maestro for sunday’s concert rehearsed us tonight for the first time. he is quite animated and a true artist, for sure. i was a bit mesmerized by him, as i usually am by men like this. he reminded me slightly, of him (you-know-who).
but i digress.
i have much much to say about this concert and the rehearsal, but i am really too tired to do the subject justice at the moment. i took copious notes, however, so i will be writing about it.
yes, i take notes during concerts and rehearsals. i know, i’m a weirdo. i have to stop writing them right in the score though, because we got yelled at last time we turned music in, for too much writing in the scores. so i devised a way to attach some blank sheets of paper to the back of the score, to scribble things. i still wrote in the score margins, when i couldn’t turn back fast enough. oh well, it’s a bit better anyway.
what sorts of things do i write? details about the place, people, experience, feelings, music, things the maestro might say or explain. anything really that comes to mind or i hear or whatever. these things turn into poems and stories and parts of my novel. i can’t help myself.
anyway. more about all this probably not until sat. i have rehearsals every night but that night.
off to bed. peace.
