so i went to a poetry reading for the first time in a very long time, last sunday night. i don’t have much good to say about it, so if you’re thinking you’re going to be encouraged here to attend a poetry reading, don’t bother.

now that’s not true of all poetry readings. or readings in general, but i remembered on sunday that there was a distinct reason i stopped attending these things a long time ago. here comes the snobby me…

well. there were three “featured readers”–the first two were good and i enjoyed them (what i could hear of them anyway, since it was in a very noisy venue and the mic wasn’t working). good writers. one of them fairly established in our community. the other i’d only recently heard of, but i definitely enjoyed his reading as well.

the third, well. i will get to that in a minute.

it was an “open reading” so i decided to read a poem or two (usually you can read 2 or 3 poems, short ones). i signed up and sat down for the listening.

i did like how they interspersed  open readers with the featured ones. that added some interest and “bear-able-ity.”

so we had the first reader, whom i know, not very well, but we know one another. she’s a poet who’s been around for awhile, and likely, she’s around my age. i’ve read her stuff in print, but it was so much better to hear her read in person. her style is very different from mine, but no matter, i enjoyed it. she’s very pulled back, succinct, subtle. it didn’t seem to fit in so much with the over the topness of the other signed up readers (but who cares, she should still read what she does)

then some signed up readers. it should have been called, in my humble (and sometimes snotty) opinion, a poetry SLAM. why? because there was a definite slam feel to the poems read by signed up readers who also appeared to be very young.

well. slams are fine, but they are not poetry “readings.” or, if they are, they are a sub-genre of poetry reading, and really, i have to be in a certain mood for one. and sunday i was not in the mood for a slam. it was also kind of disturbing that it seemed like the impression of these younger people is that poetry readings are in fact poetry slams.

okay. i am extrapolating without knowing, but it was something that crossed my mind.

the poems, i must say (the poem slams, i mean) were just not very good. and not having a mic that worked didn’t help matters. i wonder if i would have liked them better had i been able to hear them properly. with no mic, you must scream and then any sort of subtlety or nuance is pretty much lost. it was frustrating.

here’s the thing: being dramatic while reading a series of words, does not make a good poem, no matter how well one acts out the words. of course, being dramatic and reading a good poem at the same time is perfectly fine, but believing that because you can sing song or hip hop your words and say words like “cock” and “pussy” out loud in public, you are a good or avante garde poet, is just silly. (newsflash: the words cock and pussy have been used before–you are not being original)

i’m being a bitch, i know. but i got up to read a poem that means a lot to me, and because of the mic situation, i could not properly read it, nor give the background info on it that would have helped the audience to follow it. then when i was done, people actually applauded (which meant i guess that they did in fact hear the poem) and i went to read just one more very short one, and the woman in “charge” cut me off. i hadn’t noticed her cutting anyone else off nor was there any indication we were only supposed to read one poem.  i was not happy, and i am sure it showed on my face.

there was one woman, and one guy, who were enjoyable (besides the two featured readers i already mentioned) and i spoke with both of them afterward. the guy was pretty funny and the woman was not only dramatic but also inventive with her language. nice.

finally we get to THE featured reader. i’m not going to get into it all, but i was not impressed with this person. she did the sing songy hip hoppy thing through all her poems, when in fact, if she had just read them straight i might have understood them better and also been able to take them in–they were so jam-packed tight with high-end vocabulary (a function, i immediately felt, of her need to impress us with her knowledge of words because honestly i felt they added nothing to whatever message she was trying to impart–which maybe that was the message or maybe there was no message and i’m the one who ‘doesn’t get it.’).

she also had this annoying habit of patronizing the audience by explaining what we should “listen for” as she read her work. uhm. could you be a little more respectful of the people who bothered to come and listen to you on a crazy windy and snowy sunday night by assuming they know even a little bit about poetry? i felt like i was in class with a person teaching me who knew less about poetry than me (and i am the first to admit i know little, but i have read a great deal of poetry and that matters to an extent) (i think, anyway).

ugh. she then proceeded to preface certain poems with statements about how these particular ones were very popular with other audiences. ok. i need not explain what i feel about that statement. then as she read and people didn’t applaud or respond, more and more, her face fell and she started making comments like “well, other people liked this one…”

as if the purpose for reading her poems was to garner adulation, which it clearly seemed to be based on her comments and behavior. if that was not her intention, someone needs to pull her aside and let her know the way she is coming across. because it’s not flattering.

anyway. it was painful to have to sit through. i won’t even get into the woman in charge. it was all about her too. she kept reading poems (?) of her own and getting on a soapbox about stuff that was totally irrelevant, after every reader.

ugh. i remember why i don’t go to poetry readings anymore. at least, not these kind. i’d much rather pay $40 to see a well-known writer, or attend a series run by a legitimate (i can’t believe i’m saying that, but i am) organization.

it makes me want to run my own poetry readings.

maybe i just will. no slamming allowed.